May I share an inspirational thought with you?

*kakapalan ko na ang mukha ko sa mga sasabihin ko dito. oo nangangarap lang ako, pero sa ngayon lang.*

Supposing I am a successful woman today. I was invited to give a short speech for a particular program in Philippines in front of fresh-grad students and their respective parents. I will fiercely say this:

"At first I thought reaching the age of 20 is the best that could ever happen. I guess now I am wrong. It is the age where you're in the middle of responsibilities and having fun,  have your first full time job ever and after 15 days of hardwork you'll pamper yourself with cute stuffs you bought from your first ever income. That's what I think about. When I was in college that is the scenario that I always see. I graduated at the age of 19 and I am so proud of my self because at young age, I already done studying plus a bachelor degree. I am eager to have my first ever job that could complete the scenario in my mind and luckily, I was called for an interview and the appointment is listed on my planner. I was too excited to tell my parents but they didn't pay me the reaction I want. They are not against of me working after the graduation but they are, kind of. They want me to stay at home, relax, and just do everything they want me to do and give attention to my sisters and the responsibilities they had left since they are working abroad. In short, I will stay in the house and take charge of everything. Then my 20th birthday came and I was sad. Sad because I thought I could already buy cute stuffs for myself from my salary but there is nothing like that that happened. Instead, I am in our house and cooked my spaghetti and just to make the story short, just a typical birthday celebration that a simple person can only afford. I didn't bought anything for myself. I feel so brokenhearted that time. Why my plans are not going on the way I want it to be?

I stayed for over one year in the house then another opportunity knocked. This time, I will not let myself get enslaved by responsibilities that I don't really need to do. I have my own life, I am sorry for being tough. This is what life has taught me.  I had a chance going to Europe and I accepted it with all the hopes that I can be successful and real independent someday. I got too excited that all I think about is the country I will going to live. I studied again and took a major in Photography and I became known for being a photographer all over Europe. The first time I returned to Philippines after 5 years, I am already a successful one and I am ready to be a professor and teach the learnings I learned that schools can't taught student.
To all the parents out there whatever it is that your dear child is dreaming about, do not go against it specially if your child is planning about his future. Be proud because you don't have to think about what will gonna be his future someday 'coz before everything else, he already did. Do not wait for the moment that you end up blaming yourself because as a parent you're the very first person who doesn't support your child's dream and he end up being a jobless to the point that he feels like he's worthless.
And to the children here, follow your dreams. Do what will make you happy in a very nice way that you're not hurting somebody. Make your parents realize that you can do it. You can do it alone. That you're not a baby anymore and someday, they will be proud of you. We always want to make our parents proud but it is not in a way that we are always going to say "YES" to them. We are here to be alone we are here for ourselves. Our  parents sends us to school for us and not for them as what they always say to us.
Don't regret if you've done it. Regret it if you don't."

All of these are true and some are soon to be. How I wish I will be a successful one someday. I will let myself go with the flow today but I already can see my limits. I will never be a "slave" forever. I will never be one.

The thing I also wanna learn

Oh right so here am I sweating after a "suck" dance. Yeah, I call it suck dance coz I suck at dancing. LOL. I remember myself been a member of a cheer dancing competition way back when I was third year college. Actually it is not the cheer dance that's on your mind 'coz we don't do the lifting and any kind of throwing that we can usually watch on TV during UAAP or etc.  I love to dance before specially when I was in highschool 'coz since then I wanna learn howto do it. But time flies so fast and I can't even remember the last time I danced after that cheer dance that I am talking about. I am 20 years old now and I feel desperate doing it again. Actually I am not that desperate I am just curious of how it feels like dancing in front of many people or audience. My cousins are really really good at dancing! How come I am not like them with
c-o-n-f-i-d-e-n-c-e. Me, a shy-type person wanna dance? Am I fooling my self? Ha! yaaaaah 'coz I really feel I know a lot things when it comes to art and I know that dancing is an art form too. My friends, Jack and Camille, Lykah, Emma, they know how to daaance! Why the hell they don't influence me and force me to dance even if I don't like and I am shy? HAHA! Sorry guuys I am not blaming you I am just blaming myself 'coz you know, during our college days we can do a lot of dancing but where I am that time, just in a corner just watching you do the moves. Wth. Regrets all over my room. HAHA! HUHU!

I am serious. I know how to sing, I know how to do colorings, multimedia, I also know how to cook (even it is not related). I know for my self that I can dance coz if I am not, why the hell I had the gusts to join the cheer dance for sure the other members won't allow member having a same left pair of foot!
YOU. Yes YOU guys who are swag in dancing, where the hell you guys got your confidence? Can you teach me how to boost it? Make my face thick and hard! HAHA!

Chau for now. Gonna do the over thinking. Love y'all guys.

PS: I wasn't joking with the whole dancing thing. I wanna learn even just a one song choreo. LOL!!! I feel so... whatever. HAHA! <smooch>

What kind of world is this?

We are living in a world where we people have no right to be happy that when we are happy, some will shout at you saying "timahimik ka nga" and all the KJs will gonna come out of their cages and brag you or throw poops on our pretty faces. Exaggerated ba? Pero ang realidad ay mas masahol pa dyan, guys. 

We are living in a world na kapag nakasuot ka ng loose na shirt, they'll call you mataba (Happened to me in so many different ocassions). Or kapag kakakain mo lang tapos masarap ang ulam kaya di ka naka-control syempre ang tyan mo di maitago, saktong may dadaan, "ang laki ng tyan mo ah!" Sometimes hindi natin alam ang dapat isagot sa sinabi nilang hindi naman tanong pero bakit parang kelangan mong ipagtanggol ang sarili mo? Dyan na lalabas na magiging defensive ka. Good for you, and bad at the same time. 

Good dahil kahit pala anong mangyari kaya mong ipagtanggol ang sarili mo verbally. Bad dahil madalas napapahiya ang mga walangyang pumuna sa taba mo(at ikaw pa ang masama para sa makakarinig ng convo nyo) Sa pagkakatanda ko padalwang beses ko na nabanggit to sa blog ko. Haha! (Yung about sa taba)

We are living in a world where a lot of people are afraid. Takot magkamali, takot kumanta dahil baka pumiyok, takot tumawa kasi baka makita na bungi pala sya, takot sa mga bagay na hindi naman dapat katakutan. Yung totoo, bakit nga ba? Ang dami kasing taong mapanghusga. Tayo kasing mga pinoy lagi na lang may sinabi kahit hindi naman importante. Sige na, hindi lahat ganyan pero karamihan. Inis na inis ako sa taong kapag insecure ay maninira na ng bonggang bongga. Inis ako sa mayayabang at nakikipagkarera na wala namang paligsahan. Ano bang gusto nyo? Inyo na ang yaman sa mundo mapasainyo man, hindi kayo sasaya dahil ganyan ang ugali nyo. Wtvr! Para sa mga taong hindi maipakita ang tunay na "IKAW" sa buong mundo, ipakita mo na ngayon. Show them what you got! Kung hindi ka naman makakayapak ng tae este tao sa gagawin mo, push mo yan! Wag tayong matakot sa sasabihin ng iba. Para sayo yan at para sa mga nagmamahal sayo. Wag nating hayaang makain tayo ng takot. Sundin ang puso at wag ang bunganga ng tao. 

We're living in a world where the economy is rough that's why we need to be tough. There's so much to mention about what kind of place is this which we are living. I'm pretty sure we all are not blind to see 'em. I just blog some of it to let go of thoughts. My special way to fall asleep. If it makes sense well thank you❤️

How year 2013 made me.

I can say that the year 2013 is a BLAST and one of the best years I've ever had! I want to enumerate the highlights of my 2013 and I feel like I don't need to have a loooooong intro for this so, here.

1. January-March

✅Done with my internships! Eat Bulaga, Radyo Natin FM, and People's Journal.

✅Successfuly done painting the house (looking for it while i am in training) and I managed to do the tasks my mom and dad gave me. 

2. April

✅Graduated College!

3. May

✅Had the first beach party alone with my friends only

✅First time to ride a boat! I was scared and thrilled that time!

4. June 

✅Our house is paved with tiles and I was able to choose a good color and design and was able to look after the workers (manager lang ang peg)

5. August

✅Over for being a teenager. I am now 20 years old! Lol! More responsibilities to come I know!:) 

✅Some kind of engaged with my boyfriend. Lol! Dad want us to get married but we declined not bcoz we don't love each other but our main priority is our future. We want to be successful first before getting settled.

✅From this month, Carl and I were living in our house. I feel happy coz we're so legally together.

6. October

✅My mom and dad arrived after two years!!! ❤️

✅I have an IPhone now. LOL 📱

✅We bought an old model car. Ü

✅I finally got my Student Permit!

✅We met new friends from Isabela! Hours away from Batangas! LOL! 

✅colored my hair RED! Haha it's washable naman.

7. November

✅Became more responsible, loved my parents more with respect and became more mature. 

✅mom and dad left PH and Go back to Spain. -.-

✅I started to gather courage and learn how to drive without my Dad's tutorial. It was hard at first I always feel nervous.

✅I lighted our Christmas Tree.

✅Accompanied my youngest sister to her First Holy Communion. 🙏

✅Received a call from Mom telling me that I have an opportunity to work abroad and it is up to me whether I will accept it or not and I say "I do!" 

✅Had an interview from a professional photographer in Lemery and he told me that I will be a part of their team starting December!

✅Our 2nd Year Anniversary! Carl and Me!

8. December

✅Got my Red Ribbon Authentication

✅Called spanish embassy and get an schedule of appointment for the seal

✅Started my Leche Flan business and sold it for Noche Buena and Media Noche

✅Another Christmas was celebrated with my future husband and we became all happy!! 

✅Had a wonderful xmas party with Razon Fam!!! We're sooo awesome! 

✅Glad to receive a calculator from our kris kringle during xmas. 

✅Started to think like businessman!

Soo GOODBYE 2013 and HELLO 2014!! I am looking for more!!:) 

Who knows, maybe someday I'll be in Europe and study there. I wanna pursue Photography. I am desperate. 🙏👍❤️